Naruto's Brother
by dipstick1214
Summary: What if Naruto had an older brother. What if his older brother came to Konoha after being away for 5 years.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- ****I don't own Naruto and I never will.**

_A/n this is my first story so be nice but be brutal and I am taking a vote for pairings but no yaoi or harems._

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"Crap Konoha's not gonna like this" said an emoish teenager with swirling red eyes. Now let's see how this emoish person got into this predicament, shall we.

**FLASHBACK**

"_Well my friend this must be a record even for us" said a tall ape masked ANBU_

"_Yes, yes it is how much was the record anyway? said an emoish teen with a cat ANBU mask on._

"_I think it was about 20, 25 I really don't remember" said ape masked ANBU_

"_No, I thought it was 30, couldn't be as low as 25." Said cat mask_

"_You know, who really cares we're surrounded by Kumo ANBU and they want our blood soooooooo I bet I can kill more than you." Ape mask said._

"_Your on." Cat said_

"_I'm on what!" ape said looking at his feet._

"_No stupid I mean I accept your challenge" cat said_

"_Ohhhhhhhh, alright." Ape mask said_

_At that time the Kumo ANBU all lunged at the two. Ape threw four kunai which embedded in four throats._

"_Four" Ape said._

"_Five" Cat said._

_Cat launched a fireball which killed four and burnt another which died a minute later._

_Ape then took out his ANBU sword and started to cut at random ninja._

"_Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten." Ape shouted_

"_Shit we're going to get killed if we stay here" A Kumo ANBU said "First though Kanashibari no Jutsu." Ape started to fall asleep_

"_Christ…" Ape started to snore_

"_Fallback" A Kumo ANBU shouted_

"_That was fun wasn't it?" Cat said "Ape? Huh where are you? Crap Konoha's not gonna like this."_

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That's it like it or hate it review and constructive criticism is welcome

**-Dipstick**


	2. Chapter 2

An- All right here is the next chapter of Naruto's Brother

I also know the last chapter sucked hopefully this one would be better

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"Wow this village has changed a lot." said a tall man who was wearing a cloak and whose head was under a hood. He then sighed and sounded relieved.

"Well we better get checked in" said his partner who also wore a cloak and wore a hood to conceal their face.

"Alright but before that I want to do something important." said the tall one. With that he disappeared in a puff of smoke and a swirl of leaves.

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Sarutobi the elder hokage was doing paperwork, and the last thing he expected was to see an old face he hadn't seen for a long time.

"Hey **ojji-san," said a voice that sounded very familiar.**

"Ah Naruto what brings you…" the old hokage started to say. "You're not Naruto. Who are you and why have you come?" the older man said as he got into a defensive stance.

I'm hurt **ojji you don't remember me? That's too bad, and here I thought I should surprise you first before doing something very important to me." said the figure that had just emerged from the shadows.**

"Who are you?" said the Hokage.

"Who am I? I'm supposed to be dead, but my family is infamous for not staying dead." said the man who had already removed his hood during the conversation.

"Oh my god… Ichiro!" Said the very startled old man

"Bingo, we have a winner. Yes I am Uzumaki Ichiro." Said the now dubbed Ichiro.

"You're alive?" asked the Sandiame.

"Yeah I was just knocked out on that mission 5 years ago. When I came to I was tied up on a chair and surrounded by Kumo nin. I was put on trial for shit I didn't do then I was sentenced to life in prison. The people were very friendly especially in the showers and the soap was so slippery. But later in the year I was traded to Kiri and met some of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. Stayed there for about a year then went to Suna for reasons I don't know and it was very dusty. Then a few years later I was transferred to Iwa. I thought that I was going to be killed right there but instead of dieing I was treated like a hero, apparently Iwa didn't like the old Tsuchikage and killed him and named a new one to end the war. Then I was freed and stayed for a little bit and then came here." Ichiro said scratching his head.

"Well that's quite a story Ichiro. I assume that you want to get your rank back?" Sarutobi asked.

"Yeah and I have transfer orders from the Tsuchikage." Ichiro lazily said

"Everything seems in order here so you can be off now." Sarutobi said.

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Uzumaki Naruto 8 years old, Kyuubi vessel, and ramen addict. He is currently walking to get said food. "Ojji 10 bowls of ramen right here." the young blond shouted. Then Naruto saw an older man who was about 19-ish wearing a white cloak with red flames along the bottom and the hood up blocking his face from view.

"Yo, old man 20 bowls right here." the man yelled

"Are sure you can eat all that now?" the old man said

"Yeah if I couldn't why would I order it?" the other man said

"Got me there." Then the old man muttered "smart ass."

"I heard that you know." The younger man said lazily.

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"Jerk." Ichiro muttered. He then saw a young kid who couldn't be older then 8. "Hello who are you?" Ichiro said.

"Baka that's rude the way you said it!" said a woman who wore a cloak the same design as his. She then smacked him in the back of the head.

"Ow that really hurts when you do that Dei." Ichiro said holding the back of his head (yes Dei stands for Deidara and yes I know that Deidara's a dude. I'm all caught up with the manga. Please don't flame me for that because flames will be pissed on. Deidara is a girl for this fic)

"You know I don't care." Deidara said.

"Yeah but still, ow." Ichiro said

"M-m-m-my name is Uzumaki N-n-n-Naruto mister." Naruto stammered out

"Hmm I'm Ichiro and this is Deidara. It's nice to meet you Naruto. Why does Uzumaki sound so familiar?" Ichiro said and thought about why his family name seems so familiar. "Ah ha, now I know it's my family name too, huh that's weird to not related people having the same family name as uncommon as Uzumaki." Ichiro said as Deidara shook her head and sighed her boyfriend is a complete idiot. "Excuse me Naruto but I have to go. Yo old man the moneys on the counter."

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"He lived." Ichiro said. "You said he died during the sealing. You lied to me. Why would you lie to me? "

"It was your fathers last wish that you to be separated until you're older and could care for him. I was going to tell you when you turned 16 but you were taken prisoner and thought dead." Sandiame said with sorrow in his voice.

"Alright since I'm 19 does that mean I can take him to our father's house and we can be a family for once?" Ichiro asked with as little anger as possible for him.

"Yes but you are not to tell him of his 'tenet'." Sandiame said

"Understood. Can I get the extra keys I lost my set in the full cavity search?" Ichiro said and shuddered about the last part.

"Most defiantly" Sandiame said bringing up bad memories.

"Can you tell him? We just met so he wouldn't believe me." Ichiro asked with happiness in his voice.

"Sure, I'm sure he wouldn't trust a stranger." Sandiame assured Ichiro.

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Naruto was having a weird day right now. First he meets a man with the same family name as him. Then the Sandiame came and said he had an older brother. Now he's walking to his family's house. "Hey this is the clan district." Naruto said. He once got lost here and a kid about 13 showed him home, when Naruto asked why he did this the man simply said 'you remind me of a friend I had once.' Naruto thanked the man and he left. "This is the right address right?" Naruto asked himself. He than started to knock on the door, it started to creak open and in the doorway was the Sandiame. "Ojji I'm at the right address right?" Naruto asked.

"Yes Naruto you are. Naruto meat your brother Uzumaki Ichiro." Sandiame said.

"What's up kid?" Ichiro said to Naruto.


	3. Chapter 3

Please don't hurt me. I had a lot of shit going on. School, football… That is really all I have to say. That and I forgot about it. I have Paris Hilton's album, don't make me play it! Anyway here's the new chapter.

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"Okay, yeah ojii-san, sure, funny, now send this guy back where you found him because you said yourself I didn't have anybody left. The Kyuubi killed them all." Naruto said disbelievingly

"Naruto, he has the same family name as you, Uzumaki. There isn't anybody in the Leaf that has the family name Uzumaki. I thought you weren't as stupid as the big blonde." The Third explained to a confused Naruto.

"Yeah… Hey!" Ichiro said.

"You know it's true." The old Hokage said. "You make an Academy Student look like a genius, and you're 20."

"Yeah, I know." Ichiro sighed in defeat.

"Alright now that we have that out of the way, I'll leave and let you two finish introductions while I go and get the keys for you're house." The Sandiame said as he started to walk away.

Naruto stared at Ichiro.

Ichiro stared back. This continued for several minutes until Ichiro finally broke the silence. "Soooo… How old are you?

"Eight," Naruto said while eyeing the weird man still wondering if this was still an elaborate joke played on him in retribution for the Hokage's robes which he dyed bright pink.

"Okay, you in the Academy yet," Ichiro said still trying to get information out of the eight year old.

"Yeah, I'm in the Academy." Naruto said still warily.

"Do you like anything? I mean come on I was gone for five fuckin' years so tell me what happened in your life! Throw me a fucking bone here!" Ichiro shouted angrily at the eight year old. Before he knew it WHAM Ichiro was face first on the floor.

"Oww that hurt like hell! Who the fuck was the smart ass who di… oh hi Dei." Ichiro said, now scared for his life. He's seen when Dei was angry and right now she was furious.

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT, YOU DON'T TALK TO AN EIGHT YEAR OLD THAT WAY!" Deidara shouted at Ichiro's face. Then she proceeded to slap him as hard as she could. Damn women could be downright scary when they were mad as hell. When she had finished slapping him she asked Naruto who right now was on the brink of pissing himself out of fear and laughter. "What happened in the last five years?"

"Nothing really, well there was the Uchiha massacre about a year ago." Naruto said a little more comfortable.

"Wait, what? The Uchiha massacre? What happened? Who did it? Were there any survivors?" Ichiro asked as urgently as he could.

"Um in the order you asked all the Uchihas were slaughtered in there compound, Um I think it was Uchiha Itachi, and there was only one survivor, Uchiha Sasuke. Naruto said as he was trying to think. "Well that's really it. It was pretty boring."

"To think Itachi killing all of his family," Ichiro said disbelievingly. Itachi the person who was his partner on all of those missions, the person who he shared all those meals with, the person who was his friend, the person… who still owes him money, that basterd!

"Well I'm back with those blasted keys." The Hokage said. He noticed Ichiro was looking like someone told him he had terrible rectal cancer. "What's wrong with you?" He said as he pointed to Ichiro.

"…Nothing." Ichiro said with a monotone.

"Yeah, Ok, Whatever, anyway here are you're keys." The old man said with a little cheer in his voice.

"Yeah, thanks ojii-san. Now go on and have fun doing paperwork." Ichiro said with sarcasm in his voice.

"Oh I will." The Hokage said as he grimaced. Damn he forgot about the paperwork he still had to do back at his office.

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"Alright midget let's see what you know already." Ichiro said with a smile. Ninja shit, this was definitely the 'common ground' ojii-san was talking about.

"That's the thing; I don't know anything, except maybe how to throw a shuriken." Naruto said with disappointment. He already disappointed this guy that he just met. That's all he was, just a disappointment to everybody he met.

Ichiro started to see that this kid was about to cry, probably because he was disappointed. Not at Naruto, no at that god damned Academy. How dare they not teach Naruto the shit they taught him? "Well, I'll have to fix that." Later though, he was tired right now, but he'll have to teach him a jutsu. "Naruto, I feel like teaching you Bunshin, just so you don't suck as-…" Ichiro said as he looked at Dei, who looked like she was going to kick the living shit out of him, again, "Sooooo midget let's see what you can do… just follow my hands," Ichiro said as he started to make the hand signs for the clone jutsu, and when he was finished a sick looking clone exploded into existence, "Well, I forgot, I was royally fucked when the academy jutsu test was the Bunshin." Ichiro sighed defeated. He still couldn't do it. Wow he did suck at simple ninjutsu.

"What did you do to pass?" Naruto asked.

"I failed three times before our dad said that I 'sucked too much to pass' then he said that to make me 'less suck' he taught me a special clone." Ichiro said as he took out a giant scroll entitled 'Jutsus that don't completely suck.' Ichiro opened it to the very first jutsu entitled 'Shadow Clone Jutsu.' "Here we are."

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Well that's it. I'm disappointed that it took so long, and that I dissapered for a while, but that's what happens when life catches up. I'll 4 up quicker, and that's when the normal storyline starts.


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, so school fucked me up bad so, if you have any problems with me, I'll start playing Paris Hiltons album.

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When we last left our blond protagonists, Ichiro was teaching young Naruto how to not suck ass. Now its four years later and, Naruto pretty much still sucks, but he doesn't suck ass like he did before Ichiro, he just sucks less. Anyway let's get on with the story.

"Did you finally get that, that, that… thing, I taught you, five weeks ago?" Ichiro said lazily.

"No," Naruto told Ichiro, and then Naruto found himself, face flat on the floor, Ichiro with his foot on his head, laughing.

"What's so hard about the fuckin' water walking exercise? Saturate your feet with chakra then walk on water; I got it in four weeks, while doing other stuff like the Hirashin." Ichiro remembered vividly.

"Yeah, whatever, anyway, when are you going to teach me the Hirashin anyway?" Naruto asked eagerly

"When you grow up," Ichiro says, when in actuality, he was waiting for enough metal for the special kunais; it was part of the process of teaching it. The teacher has to supply the kunais for the student.

"You're no fun." Naruto said in defiance. "Anyway, where's Dei?" Naruto asked inquisitively.

"What the hell is with all these questions this morning? Can't they wait until after breakfast?" Ichiro asked. "Also today's Monday, don't you have school?" Ichiro said, he had come to like Naruto's academy teacher, Iruka. That Mizuki guy was a bit too nice, but what could he do?

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Yeah I have the genin test tomorrow, the review's today! Shit! Fuck! Fucking Shit!" Naruto screamed at the top of his lungs, which was a considerable decibel.

"That's alright, It's five o' clock in the morning anyway you little bastard." Ichiro said while covering his ears.

"Who. The. Fuck. Is. The. Dead. Man. Who. Woke. Me. Up?" Dei said through clenched teeth. While getting clay out and putting it in the mouths on her hands.

"Umm, Naruto, grab my hand if you want to live," Ichiro said while reaching out his hand, and almost pissing himself.

"Ok," Naruto said grabbing his brother's hand and trying to not piss himself too. Ichiro then teleported to a random place in Konoha, just some place that was five feet from Dei.

"Um, Naruto di-" Ichiro then found himself on the floor. "Hey I think I'm all right. Oh Hell No! I'm fucking bleeding from every orifice on my face! I think I have a concussion." Ichiro complained loudly.

"Shut up you big baby. You probably had a big hand in this. Well since I'm up, you might as well make me breakfast. And I don't want any blood in it!" Dei said to Ichiro.

"Yes'm" Ichiro said defeatedly.

"So Naruto, are you excited for your genin test?" Dei said sleepily and yawning.

"Yeah, Ichiro and I have been studying all week for it." Naruto told her.

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At the Academy

"… And that is how the first hokage made Konoha, any questions?" Iruka said with satisfaction, two people are fully awake, with three nodding off. And Naruto hadn't gone and disrupted him while- wait where is Naruto?

"MOTHERFUCKING DEMON!!!" some random ninja shouted. Iruka sighed, what had Naruto gotten into now?

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Naruto was having a very bad day; first Ichiro leaves a receipt on the counter for bio-degradable paint, and then leaves a note telling Naruto to sneak out of class at eleven o'clock to meet him at the Hokage Mountain for a training session, then random ninjas start chasing after him for shit he doesn't even know about, let alone do. But shit happens so Naruto has to make the best of it, currently he is running from three ANBU level ninja.

"Get back here you little prick," Yelled number one.

"Yeah, we just want to beat you half to death!" Yelled number two.

"You don't tell'em that," said three to two.

"Well I didn't know that," two told three. And during this confusion Naruto managed to hide from them with a fence blanket… thing, and when they passed him he put the blanket thing down and started quietly laughing at them. Then someone grabbed him.

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"Now Naruto, I know I can ramble but did you really need to sneak out?" Iruka said. Apparently Naruto painted all over the Hokage Mountain. "Well, since you missed out, we are ALL going to review the Henge jutsu all over again!"

"Oh Man! Why did you do it?! Idiot!" Those were the cries Naruto heard, which he did feel bad about, but he didn't show it.

"Ok Naruto, you're up." Iruka said.

"Alright, let's go." Naruto said as he turned into a pinup version of himself. Completely naked.

"Ok Na-" Iruka said, as he fell back by his blood. "What the hell was THAT?!?" Iruka shouted.

"That was my Sexy Jutsu. I modeled it after the women I found in this magazine I found in Ichiro's room!" Naruto said triumphantly.

"Don't waste your time on stupid techniques!" Iruka yelled at him.

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Hokage Mountain

"Can I go home yet?" Naruto pleaded.

"Hell no midget, but if you do a good job, and promise not to tell Dei about that jutsu, or magazines, I'll buy you at most TWO bowls of Ichiraku ramen for dinner." Ichiro said, through a few missing teeth. Long story short, Dei found out about the Mural, and well… shit happened.

"ALRIGHT!" Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs, excited about his favorite food. "Oi! Nii-san, what are you reading?"

"Oh this? It's just a letter my friend from mist sent me." Ichiro said, obviously not wanting to say anything more.

"Ok. And guess what, I'm done!" Naruto said with satisfaction.

"Alright Naruto, let's go." Ichiro said.

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Alright, I finally got this finished. Now I think I can update semi- regularly, ok? Cool.

Next time is the Genin test and the scroll thing.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey Homeskillit biscuits, this guy is back, hopefully with less white person guilt.

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Now Naruto had an interesting other day, being set up by his brother for painting the Hokage monument, trying out his new sexy jutsu, watching Ichiro trying to explain a certain magazine under Naruto's bed that had Ichiro's name on it to his girlfriend/ wife Deidara. Now he was sitting at the breakfast table looking at said couple, lecturing him on what the Genin test is going to hold for him.

"Alright, now what they have is usually an accuracy test, then a written exam, then they'll do a practical jutsu exam, which is usually bunshin, but we supposedly taught you one that should help you pass, just remember, if you create an exploding bunshin, Deidara and I" Ichiro motioned to his girlfriend who was sitting right next to him, "We don't know you or have any relation to you, ok?" Ichiro said, his look serious. "Deidara already has a nasty habit of blowing random things up, we don't need you copying her 'art'" he said with air quotes, which earned him a light smack from Dei and a nip from her mouth hand.

"Don't worry Nii-san, I'll pass it and then I'll be a bitchin' ninja like you." Naruto said with his trademark stupid grin. "Then you'll have to teach me the Hirashin!"

"Of course he will Naruto. We also have a special surprise for you afterward, yeah." Dei said, and then looked stunned. "GOD DAMMIT! I WENT TO SPEECH THERAPY FOR SO MANY FUCKING YEARS TO GET RID OF THAT FUCKING HABIT!" Deidara said as angry as she had ever been. "WHY WOULD IT COME BACK N-" She cut off mid word. "Ichiro, honey, I need to talk to you about something very, veeerrrryyyy important." She said stressing the very. Ichiro nodded and wordlessly got up and took Deidara's hand and followed her into their room.

Naruto got up and left, silently wondering what was so important that it caused Dei to stop mid-rant and Ichiro to stop talking and grab Dei's hand without care of the mouths that normally nip him when he would try to do that. "Must have been something stupid like leaving the toilet seat up." Naruto mused aloud, not putting to much thought into it. As he got to the academy, Naruto and his classmates were ushered into the throwing range for their test, they had to throw ten shruriken and kunai each, then they had to take the written test, which was a simple 50 question short answer test, )and by simple I mean that this test put the ACT to shame. For those of you who haven't taken the ACT or SAT or aren't American, well, the days leading up to the practices I lost sleep, and I'm 36th out of 560 in my class. But enough of my tangent, back to the story), well, Naruto hadn't realized this, but he was actually in last with points, thanks to his surrogate mother Dei's 'tutoring' and Ichiro's infallible accuracy training, but all that was left was the Jutsu test, which was, coincidentally the Bunshin no Jutsu and well, Naruto was prepared for this, but what did Ichiro say earlier that day? To try out the exploding clone and that he would teach him the hirashin if he blew up the school was it? Nah couldn't be, Dei doesn't like posers on her style, he'll just stick with the first jutsu he ever learned, the good old Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. When it was Naruto's turn, he walked into the classroom that they were holding the test in and stood right in front of the two teachers, Mizuki and Iruka, and just stood there arms crossed in front , taking a fighting stance that Ichiro taught him, he was ready for anything.

"Alright Naruto, your test is to successfully perform the Bunshin to pass. Anytime your ready." Iruka said with a smile.

'Awesome, I can do this, I can do this!' Naruto thought and did a little mind cheer, and he could swear he heard chuckling somewhere deep within his mind. "Ok Iruka-sensei! Check this out!" He yelled at Iruka, and a clone poofed into existence. Iruka and Mizuki looked dumbfounded.

"I-i-is that a solid clone, Naruto?" Iruka stammered out, completely flabbergasted.

"Yeah, Ichi-Nii told me that I suck too much to do that jutsu, so in an effort to make me 'suck less' he taught me a few things." Naruto said as he dismissed the clone and walked up to the teachers' table.

"Congratulations Naruto, you pas—," As Iruka was cut of mid sentence, by a loud scream coming from outside the academy. "Who in the world was that? Naruto... Naruto, where did he go to?"

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Ichiro was currently enjoying a nice date with his girlfriend, nobody was looking at him weird for being a tall man shaggy haired blond man with his forehead protector right where it belonged, with a long sleeved under shirt, a long white cloak with the Uzumaki clan symbol on the back and wearing a pair of black pants and mid height, black ninja sandals. His girlfriend was wearing a leaf jonin vest over a fishnet shirt with two bags on her waist and short blue pants with blue ninja sandals and long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail with a long piece covering her left eye she wore her forehead protector on her forehead, she was currently attached to his arm, almost quite literally due to the fact that she has mouths on her palms. They were currently enjoying a nice meal at the VERY nice resturant called Ichiraku's Ramen. It used to be a simple stand, but that was before the Uzumaki brothers had sunk their extreme lust for ramen into their father's, the man known as Namikaze Minato or the Fourth Hokage's, inexhaustibly large fortune, which caused the owner of the stand to not only upgrade and become one of the best places in Konoha, the owner now has now expanded and became popular in all the other hidden villages and other small villages. But back to the story yet again, you see it was Ichiro and Deidara's anniversary, and currently fingering a simple wooden box that was in his pocket, for he was about to propose to his girlfriend, whom he met in Kumogakure and exchanged letters with over his long captivity, then finally dated over two years ago and have been together with ever since. As soon as he and she finished their meal, he started to talk about their relationship together.

"Dei, you know we've been together for a long time," Ichiro said, feeling a little apprehensive, "and I enjoy our time together, very much,"

"If you're breaking up with me... I'll blow up and murder this entire village." Dei said with a sickly sweet smile.

"Aww, isn't that sweet, but in reality why we came here today isn't for that, what I'm trying to say is that I want to be a bigger part of your life," he said as he got down on one knee and pulled out the simple box, "Will you marry me?"

Deidara let out a girls squeal, and launched into him, "Of course I will!" she yelled and at that point the whole restaurant stood up and applauded the couple.

"Ichiro-sama!" Someone from the crowd shouted, "Your brother's gone missing, have you seen him?"

"Iruka?" Ichiro shouted as the crowd dispersed, then after finding Iruka and telling him that he had not seen his little brother since that morning. Iruka started to worry, because Mizuki was also in a burst of leaves and smoke, the Hokage came grabbed Ichiro by the ear and teleported back in the same burst of leaves and smoke.

* * *

"Ichiro, do you know what this is supposed to be?" the elderly Hokage asked. As he pointed to an empty pedestal.

"Yes...Kinda...Maybe...Not really."Ichiro responded sheepishly.

"It's a scroll where I keep all the forbidden jutsu of our village, but it's not there. What is there, Ichiro?"

"Hmm, Let's see here... it looks like a piece of paper," Ichiro said after carefully examining the paper for a minute. The Hokage squeezed his ear harder.

"What is on the paper dum-dum?

"Ow, Jesus! That really hurts... but it looks like it's a note form my brother saying that he took the scroll."

"So where is your brother?"

"Got me ojji-san. But it's not Naruto who wrote the note, I can tell you that much."

"Ho-how could you tell that?" The third asked, completely dumb struck.

"Whoever this person is spelt his name right." Ichiro said as he sweat dropped. The third put his hand to his face and groaned.

"I suggest you find him, or you won't be alive for your honeymoon." The third said, with as much politeness as he could muster for the blond.

* * *

Said blond was currently running through the forest with a giant scroll on his back.

_FLASHBACK!_

"_Naruto, there is something that I need you to do for me." Mizuki told the young blond boy._

"_What is it Mizuki-sensei?" Naruto asked._

"_There is a certain scroll that I would like to practice with after I'm done here, but I won't be done here for a while, so can you get it for me and meet me at the training ground? You'd be doing me a huge favor." Mizuki said with a fake caring tone._

"_Sure Mizuki-sensei, which one is it?" Naruto said as Mizuki smiled and walked him out of the room._

_END FLASHBACK!_

Naruto arrived at the training ground that Mizuki told him to the sight of Mizuki with two Fuma Shurikan strapped to his back, a murderous smile on his face. "Hello Naruto. You'll be handing that scroll over to me." Naruto raised a kunai that Ichiro had given him on his 9th birthday.

_FLASHBACK...AGAIN!_

_Naruto's 9__th__ birthday party, there was a few people there, the Sandiame, Ichiro, and Dei. As Naruto opened his presents Ichiro went into his room and reappeared holding a small wrapped box with a yellow bow on it. "What is it Ichiro-nii?"_

"_Why don't you open it midget? That's the only way for you to now for sure." Ichiro said as he pulled Dei closer to him by her waist. Naruto opened it and screamed in happiness, because it was a kunai that was used for the Hirashin. "Now Naruto, this is an emergency only knife, only throw it if you are in danger of dieing and I will be right there to save you, and I'm sure Dei will be close behind." Naruto could not be any happier._

_END FLASHBACK...AGAIN_

Naruto raised his kunai and was about to throw it when Mizuki had said something that made him restrain himself, and that was, "Do you know why every one in the village hates you?"

"N-n-n-o-o-o I don't Mizuki sensei," Naruto said, he was scared shitless.

"IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE THE DEMON FOX THAT ATTACKED THE VILLAGE 12 YEARS AGO!" Mizuki yelled, laughing mainicly, then a kunai whizzed past his head, grazeing his cheek, "You fucking brat! I'm gonna kill you right hear and now!" He yelled as a giant yellow flash came through the clearing and stopped behind Mizuki. Ichiro Uzumaki has arrived

"Now why the hell would you have two giant shuriken and tell my brother to steal the fucking scroll of Kinjutsus? Don't answer that, I'll fucking kill you anyway. In fact..." Ichiro started to do some hand seals, "**Kuchiyose no Jutsu!**" He shouted as a giant polar bear appeared out of thin air. Mizuki started running, the bear took off after him, it wasn't very long before a very bloody, and missing a foot Mizuki was brought back to Ichiro and then to Ibiki. "Naruto, you did good out there, now close your eyes." Ichiro said, "Now open them," Ichiro was holding his forehead protector and the hirashin kunai. "Congratulations on passing the test, little brother! Tomorrow I'll begin teaching you the Hirashin." Ichiro said with a big foxy smile on his face.

"YATTA!" Naruto yelled as he lept into Ichiro's arms.

* * *

Finally done, hope you guys liked it, this will be the beginning of a stream of regular updates. OH! And before I forget, I'm looking for a beta reader for help in keeping me on time and making sure I'm not rambling like Victor Hugo. Anybody can apply, either say it in a reveiw or drop me a message in my inbox. Peace out homies.

Dipstick.


	6. Chapter 6

"Naruto! Don't drink that milk, its gone bad." Deidara told him, snatching up the milk from her surrogate brother. "I still have yet to get food." Turning to the trash, Deidara asked over her shoulder, "Where is your brother? He's going to miss seeing you before you get assigned to a team." With that, Ichiro had walked into the rather spacious kitchen that was in the Namikaze estate, he was holding some sort of letter in his hands. The letter looked as if it were delivered by bird, which is not uncommon in the ninja world, but for someone to know of Ichiro meant that it was something important. This could also be told from the stern look on his usually smiling face.

"Oh, hey guys!" Ichiro said returning to his happy demeanor. "You ready for team assignments today?"

"Sorta, I'm more excited for the training you promised me." Naruto told him excitedly, practically hopping up and down his seat.

"Calm down midget," Ichiro told him laughing. "I remember. I also remember that you should be at the academy by now." Ichiro said, slowly going through a set of hand seals, Naruto's eyes widened once he recognized the jutsu. "I think today I'll be nice and give you till the end of this sentence before I summon my bears," and with that, was Naruto halfway to the academy. "That always gets him." Ichiro chuckled silently to himself. He then looked at Deidara, "So," he drew out the sound and clapped his hands nervously, "You're pregnant?"

* * *

Naruto was just making his way into the academy when he was accosted by another boy his age, Kiba Inazuka, who was loudly declaring that he would be the best ninja ever, Naruto scoffed, which the boy responded to by saying that Naruto shouldn't be there.

"We all know that you're too dumb to have passed, so why don't you give up the charade and go home?" Kiba yelled so loud that half of creation could hear him.

* * *

**Meanwhile, back at the Hall of…** Sorry, wrong series.

"Momma Bird senses…tingling!" A rather tall blond woman said in what appears to be a kitchen.

"More importantly, someone is insulting my training." An even taller blond man said coldly and smiled sickly. "Someone's going to die."

**Back at the academy…**

While Kiba was unwittingly sticking a hand covered in raw meat in a bear cage by insulting Naruto's intelligence, he sneezed, and with this sneeze he felt such a chill roll down his spine that he visibly twitched from shock. Naruto just smiled. "Well if the 'great' Kiba Inazuka says that I shouldn't be here, then maybe I should just leave." Naruto started to walk out the door when Iruka came in.

"Naruto, why are you leaving?" Iruka asked, completely puzzled.

Naruto just smiled widely at Iruka and continued to mock Kiba, "The 'Great' Kiba said that I couldn't have possibly passed, so Ichiro must have given me his old headband by mistake," he gestured towards his black headband, "so I'm just gonna leave and give him his headband back,"

Iruka's mouth twitched in laughter. "Naruto, you did pass, in fact, you scored better than Kiba, and so he should be the one to leave," amused by his little joke, and Kiba's mouth dropping to the floor, Iruka gained his composure, "Now everybody sit down! I'm going to read your team assignments out, and let me be the first to congratulate you on becoming Genin. Team 1…"

Naruto started to daydream, well not so much day dream as trying to contact the Kyuubi, remembering what his brother told him last night.

* * *

_"Ichi-nii," Naruto asked his older brother while they were walking toward the Hokage mansion. "Am I really the demon fox?"_

_ Ichiro looked positively disgusted. "Fuck no! You are my little brother," he knelt down to be closer to Naruto's height, "You are my little brother and one of the best Genins in the village. Don't ever let anyone tell you different, ok?" Ichiro then went to hug him, but Naruto backed away._

_ "Then why did Mizuki-sensei tell me I am?"_

_ "Because he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about." Ichiro placed a hand on his little brother's shoulder. "You are what are called Jinchuuriki, and you are the only thing keeping the fox demon from rampaging again. You are his jailor and he, your prisoner." Ichiro then poked his brother in the stomach, causing Naruto to laugh a little. "I only hope that the fox likes ramen, because I feel a little stuffing my face mood."_

_ "Hell yeah Nii-san, but I have one last thing to ask." Naruto told him. Ichiro turned his head towards Naruto giving him his full attention. "Do you think I would be able to ever talk to him, the fox I mean?"_

_ "I don't know Naruto; maybe if you concentrated hard enough and eased your mind, you could theoretically talk to him. Now, put all thoughts of the fox aside, let's stuff our faces as a celebration for passing."_

* * *

I'm still surprised that Ichi-Nii, knew all those words, Naruto thought to himself. He soon opened his eyes because he noticed that no longer was he in the

classroom, but in a large room with a jail cell at the other end. In the jail cell was his brother Ichiro. "Quick Naruto-chan!" Ichiro said, "You have to let me out of

here!"

Naruto shook his head, "You are so not Ichiro that it's not even funny. Ichi never calls me 'Naruto-chan' for starters."

"Worth a shot anyway," 'Ichiro' said as he morphed into the demon fox. Naruto just stared at him. "Are you not impressed at my magnificence?" the fox

asked?

"Not really, I mean, once you've seen the bear summon's lord, everybody else just kinda is just meh." Naruto told him, waving his hand in a so-so fashion.

"Yeah, he is pretty awe-inspiring," the fox agreed, "So why did you decide to visit wittle ol' me, brat?"

"Well, I really just wanted to see if I could do it…" Naruto smiled sheepishly, "I didn't think that far ahead, hehe." The fox face palmed.

"You woke me up, just to see if you could?" The fox asked.

"Yeah," Naruto answered unsure of what the consequences were. The Kyuubi reached a giant paw forward and flicked our blond protagonist right out of his

own mind.

* * *

Back in the classroom, Iruka had just finished reading off the names of teams one through six, he heard a rather familiar sound, the sound of Naruto's

forehead smacking against the desk. He decided to ignore it and read the next team off, "Team 7 is Naruto Uzamaki, Sakura Haruno," Naruto stood up and

cheered, while Sakura grumbled, "And Sasuke Uchiha." The cheering became reversed.

* * *

Lunch at the Namikaze's

"So you're saying that there is no way that Naruto is going to be on your team, Kakashi?" Ichiro asked the one-eyed jounin.

"Yeah, I asked countless times." Kakashi sighed.

"I bet you 50 ryo that by some stroke of luck he is on your team." Ichiro laughed

"They always gave me the same answer, 'He wouldn't mesh well with Sasuke,' between you and me, I don't like the Uchiha, he's self-entitled and thinks

he's better than everyone." Kakashi told him.

"Kinda like how you were?" Ichiro asked jokingly.

"He's worse than how I was!" Kakashi complained to his old master's son. "I don't know how it would be possible to get the avenger stick out his ass

without someone like Naruto." He lowered his head in defeat and exasperation. "Anyway, I've still got a few hours until I've got to meet my team, wanna go

see sensei?"

Ichiro held up a rather large bottle of liquid, "Yeah, I think it'd be a good idea."

* * *

A couple hours later

"Why is our sensei late? Everyone else is already gone." Sakura complained while Sasuke brooded, Naruto, however was silently running through who could

be their sensei.

'Asuma? No, he got stuck with the Ino shika cho team. Gai? Naw, he still has a genin team from last year. Anko or Ibiki? They never would give up their

torture gig. What about the new girl with the red eyes? She was stuck with the tracking team. Who else could it be?" Naruto fumed at the thought of who their

sensei was. When the door lazily opened and out popped a head that had gravity defying gray hair and a right eye that was covered.

"Hi, I'm gonna be your sens-" the man cut himself off, muttered, fuck off Ichiro, and continued saying, "I'm Kakashi Hatake. Why don't you meet me on the

roof?" and he poofed away.

"So why don't you all tell me about yourselves? You know, likes, dislikes, hobbies and dreams for the future?" Kakashi told them.

"Um, sensei, why don't you go first and show us how it's done?" Sakura asked.

Kakashi sighed, "Alright, my name is Kakashi Hatake, I have no desire to tell you my likes or dislikes. Dreams for the future," he paused. "Well I have lots of

hobbies. Why don't we go around the circle starting from the right?"

So all we learned was his name Sasuke and Sakura thought. Naruto however, was laughing inside because he learned everything about Kakashi already

from Ichiro.

"Alright, My name is Naruto Uzumaki, I like ramen, I dislike the three minutes you have to wait for instant ramen, and my dream," this time Naruto paused,

"Is to be the greatest Hokage!" Naruto said with pride.

'Hmm', Kakashi thought, 'he's grown up a bit since Ichiro and Deidara came into his life.'

"My hobbies are… well Ichiro told me to say that I like 'chasing the dragon and having ladies play my skin flute' whatever the hell that means." Naruto said.

Kakashi almost fell of the roof because he was laughing too hard.

"Alright Pinkey," He said between wheezes, "You're next."

"Well, I'm Sakura Haruno, I like," she looked at Sasuke, "my hobby is…" again looking at Sasuke, "my dream for the future is…" this time she let out a squeal

of joy. "I dislike Naruto!" she told them finally.

"Bitchsayswhat?" Naruto asked her.

"…What?" Sakura asked him.

"Exactly" Naruto told her.

"Alright stick boy, your next." Kakashi told Sasuke.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha, there are tons of things I dislike but I don't really like anything. I don't want to use the word dream. I have an ambition to

resurrect my clan and to kill a certain man!" Sasuke said with finality.

'Aaannnd there goes the buzz I had from drinking.' Kakashi thought. "Well tomorrow at 7 I have one last test for you guys to see if you can make it as a

genin. Oh, and don't eat, you'll throw up."

"Sensei, I thought we already were ninja," Sakura said.

"Not yet, like I said, you have one last test, and on this one, you may die." Kakashi said cheerily and poofed away.


End file.
